CLING TO THE CROSS

October 31, 2015October 31, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

At 6 o’clock one Sunday morning Clare Gant was going to church and not even the torrential rain outside would stop her. But she never expected that her vehicle would be suddenly caught in floodwaters near a lake.

Her car stalled and then began to float away with the powerful force of rushing water. She knew she was in trouble. She called 911 and no one answered. She finally called her grandson who was on his way to rescue her.

Her car shifted and went backwards into a field and she thought, “Dear Lord are you taking me home right now?” But he was not.

By the time her grandson arrived her car had been washed off the road into a church yard. Her car had stopped besides a huge red cross. Her grandson, Travis, came with a deer harness off of a deer stand and some rope he says somehow he got the jammed door open despite the rushing waters and his grandmother out of the car and they both grabbed hold of that cross and held on for five hours until someone came and rescued them.

Gant said, “I was literally, after I got out of the car, holding onto the cross. I was clinging to the cross…Jesus is my savior. This story is not about me, this is about what he did to save me.”

I want to ask you dear friend are you clinging to the cross of Jesus? From the story you can tell that that was all they could hold on to. It was such a wonderful illustration of our own bankruptcy spiritually, or like the hymn says

Nothing in my hands I bring simply to the cross I cling.

Although we may be good people as far as culture is concerned. We have certain things that are admirable and we do many moral things that make us basically good people – but as far as God is concerned spiritually we have nothing to offer him but our sin. Not only our sin but even our good works disqualify us from heaven. That’s why Jesus came.

God bankrupt heaven for bankrupt sinners so that they could be saved. They could not hold on to their good works, that they are a giving and loving person or a good parent or a good son or daughter or a good provider – nothing of that matters with God when it comes to entering heaven. The only way that you can enter into heaven is completely embrace what Jesus did on the cross as payment for your sins.

He died to save you. He lives to love you.

This is the Jesus that we preach. Some of you today like that woman in our story have bumped into this article like her car bumped into that red Cross. Would you not consider that God is showing you that the only way you can be saved is through Jesus Christ? Receive God’s love gift today. Make a 180 degree turn from what you’re doing now and ask God to save you through what Jesus did on the cross. Believe that Jesus died for you, especially you.

It’s simple trust- just knowing what he did and basing your entire life on the fact that Christ died and rose again from the dead for you. Then you will truly know what it is to cling to the cross.

FOR THOSE WHO WAIT

October 18, 2015October 18, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

There’s a deep agony of heart, that is worse than pain in the body. It is a hope, a desire, a dream that is unfulfilled.

It can be nagging of the mind, a gnawing of heart, that refuses to be comforted. It is a scent of the spirit, a sound beyond what anyone can hear but me.

Lord, only you can say the word and I will be healed. Pound thy gavel, Righteous Judge let the courtroom hear. Like Samuel anoint me in the midst of thy brethren.

Feed me by angels hands, meet me in that cave that is so dark yet alive with your voice send me to the mountain that is shaken and rocked by your lightning so that all that is false is driven from my land and my heart.

You know that I desire to be what you want me to be. Do not withdraw thy hands from this frail clay vessel. Let thy skilled touch be evidence you are with me.

Let me be fashioned and formed into a vessel of honor and filled with thy glory and poured out in your sight and the voice of last drop utter thy will be done.

SAMSON: A WARNING TO THE CHURCH AND ITS LEADERS

September 14, 2015September 14, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

In Samson we see an impersonation of Israel.

Like him, the nation was strong so long as it kept the covenant of its God.

Like him, it was ever prone to follow after strange loves. Its Delilahs were the gods of the heathen, in whose laps it laid its anointed head, and at whose hands it suffered the loss of its God-given strength; for, like Samson, Israel was weak when it forgot its consecration, and its punishment came from the objects of its infatuated desires.

Like him, it was blinded, bound, and reduced to slavery, for all its power was held, as was his, on condition of loyalty to God.

His life is as a mirror, in which the nation might see their own history reflected; and the lesson taught by the story of the captive hero, once so strong, and now so weak, is the lesson which Moses taught the nation: “Because thou servedst not the Lord thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, by reason of the abundance of all things: therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the Lord shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things, and He shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck” ( Deut. 28: 47, 48 ).

The blind Samson, chained, at the mill, has a warning for us, too. That is what God’s heroes come to, if once they prostitute the God-given strength to the base loves of self and the flattering world.

We are strong only as we keep our hearts clear of lower loves, and lean on God alone. Delilah is most dangerous when honeyed words drop from her lips.

The world’s praise is more harmful than its censure. Its favors are only meant to draw the secret of our strength from us, that we may be made weak; and nothing gives the Philistines so much pleasure as the sight of God’s warriors caught in their toils and robbed of power.”

–Alexander MacLaren

HE COULD NOT LOOK HIS CHURCH IN THE EYES

September 7, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

“He won’t brush aside the bruised and the hurt and he won’t disregard the small and insignificant, but he’ll steadily and firmly set things right.” (Isaiah 42:2-3).

I began working in the vending business and started attending a church near my home a few months after my denomination closed down our church with apologies. A situation that was actually an ecclesiastical shell game. What I mean by that was they said they closed down the church but actually sold the building to another church in that denomination. But at least now, I had a good pastor and church to attend. Strange enough years before I met him after helping an older couple in a parking lot outside a hardware store who were having car problems. I told them I was a minister and gave them my card and they said they would tell their Pastor about me. He called me and we became friends.

While I was still at the Warehouse of Praise Church he invited me to come and preach one Sunday Night. I preached on The Divine Burning- a message on the fire of the Holy Spirit and God moved. Many of the elders said that they had not heard a message like that in years, it reminded them of old time preaching. By the way, what they call “old time preaching” is what they used to call biblical preaching.

Pastor was a good man, he built a beautiful church building and loved Jesus, but I noticed immediately when he preached he never made eye contact with the congregation. I encouraged him to look at people but he never could. I asked him why he was like this and he explained he had a horrible experience when he first arrived at this church and it beat him up so badly he never looked people in the eye when he preached. Something had broken within him. I loved this man and believed in his ministry.

I remember one time that I began to prophesy (spontaneous scriptural exhortation) and called his congregation to repentance in the middle of the service. He was skeptical of my actions at first (for good reason) but people began to flood the altars to pray and God began to move and people began to cry out to God. He told me later that he did not know what to think at first but when he saw the Holy Spirit move like that he knew it was right. He was a good Pastor and he let me teach Sunday School and even preach a revival in his church. I will always be grateful to him.

Pastoring has got to be the hardest job in the world. That’s why a man has to do it through the power of the Holy Spirit and not in his own strength. That is why I will always be a Pentecostal. Pentecost to me means that I don’t have to do things in my own strength but the power of Christ that dwells in me. No matter how weak I may be, no matter what is going on there is a river of life flowing out of me.

THE REAL VERSUS THE PHONY

May 6, 2015May 16, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

“But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception.” (1 John 4:6).

Notice the supernatural aspects of truth and error. We cannot help but see that the phrase is not “the teaching of truth and the teaching of deception” and if it was worded that way it would seem correct. But it is not worded that way here. It is, “the Spirit of truth and the spirit of deception.” It shows the source of truth and the source of error. Satan and his demons have teachings (1 Tim. 4:1) and there is also the doctrine of Christ (2 John 1:9). As Pentecostals we should be more sensitive to this and that is why God has given us the all the charismata or gifts of the spirit especially the “discerning of spirits” (1 Cor 12:10) which is the gifting or ability to discern a true miracle (Acts 3:12-16) from lying signs and wonders (2 Thess. 2:9). While I was still pastoring my previous church in the 90’s, the so called Toronto Blessing and Brownsville Revival movements were having a major influence on various Pentecostal and Charismatic churches. Falling down, writhing like snakes, barking like dogs, clucking like chickens with people sprawled all over the floor was the norm.

I mean seriously? This has NOTHING to do with the Holy Spirit. It is NOT true Pentecost.

As I remember on a July 4th weekend I was asked to come and minister in a church in Maine. When we came we found the church at that time was into this Counterfeit Revival movement. At one time, I knew the Pastor to be a level headed man but when the service began it was wild and out of control. The church was dominated by cacophonous laughter and people lying all over the floor. The “worship” service went two hours with all kinds of craziness. I was not happy at all-and was wondering why I was there and why he invited me to preach.

The pastor knew I did not agree (probably because of my sour expression and how I just sat there motionless) and as God would have it, he had me come up to to the pulpit to preach anyway. By the grace of God I am not a ecclesiastical politician nor a coward when it comes to confronting such extra-biblical practices. I just wonder why it always has to be me. I reprimanded them sharply-just like the Bible says to do (Titus 1:13). After I spoke, the pastor was miffed. I left the meeting and went back to the hotel room thinking I was done and I should start packing for my trip back home. I was disappointed and wondered what was wrong with them? What was ironic is that I felt to preach on the biblical view of the anointing of the Holy Spirit for that weekend. I intensely studied on this subject for months and now I was second guessing myself.

They had morning seminars and then we went to lunch. You could see the pastor was still brewing over my preaching the night before. So we talked about it and I actually asked him, “When the Holy Spirit is moving in a service could you preach from any portion of the Bible?”

He said, “I suppose so…yes.”

Then I asked, “What about 1 Corinthians 14 and its regulations and teachings concerning spiritual gifts?”

He said, “I suppose not.”

I said, “That is ridiculous. It makes no sense.”

His reasoning was so flawed- yet that night the pastor still had me preach and it was powerful. I focused on the teaching of scripture about the Holy Spirit and many told me they saw more answers to prayer than they did under what the pastor was promoting. I could teach about the biblical perspective of the Holy Spirit and God took over from there. It was like a high pressure system pushing a low pressure system out. It turned about to be a great series of meetings. I learned then that the truth is stronger than lies, that the inspiration of the scripture far outweighs the false practices and teachings of man. I could only hope God would deal with them after that time.

God during this time began to bring my attention to the New Jersey area. It was a slow start when we came and one day I felt compelled to leave Pennsylvania and go to New Jersey. I found a job and lived with my Mom for a time. Sarah found a job almost immediately and things came together-we had a small Bible study. I received a call from with two families in Maine who wanted to come down and help me start a church. So those things were good.

When Sarah moved up finally we went to live with my father in law for a time and would visit churches on Staten Island. Once again a preacher who I thought was a balanced man was allowing the Brownsville influence in his church. In fact, he and others were making pilgrimages to that place. His church was jammed. He was my friend so we visited his church for a few services and he let me preach. I had fellowship again. This church was at first not as wild but after attending a few services the weirdness was growing to fever pitch.

People were yelling, making weird noises, tongue talking during the preaching. I do not mean to be crass but every freakacostal and charismaniac was in attendance. I remember the day I came I was happy for my friend. The church had grown to two services and though I did not agree with those practices I was hopeful things would turn around. After all, this was the church where I was saved. Maybe it just being welcomed anywhere after my recent hurtful experience at the Warehouse of Praise so there was a sense of relief. I also believed that if he was a man of God he would correct these practices eventually.

But these happy thoughts would not last very long-not even one day longer. My pastor friend came in and he looked angry and sour. He had a bad spirit and you could tell. I was wondering what was wrong with him. I had pastored before so I know how things happen before church and when you preach so I cut him some slack and excused it in my mind.

That same Sunday morning God gave me a word or prophecy. It was a hard word and I had never given one like this before. But I felt the power of God to say it. I don’t remember all of it but it was a harsh rebuke for what was going on-God was exposing the wrong practices and spiritual adultery of these people. I said some other words and as I began to speak of God offering blessing for their repentance- the pastor stopped me midway from prophesying. This was a first. Before this time, I prophesied many times in that church and I was well received. I was known of the brethren and I am careful when I speak forth prophetically. His actions were unnecessary and he was wrong. My mother was next to me and she was indignant at what happened. All of us knew what this pastor was allowing in his church was wrong and God was telling him to repent.

We went back to my mothers house and I was hurt and confused. My twin brother was there and at first he said, “I told you not to go there!” But then he comforted me. People talk about how wonderful it is to be an Elijah or Jeremiah or any such thing. It is not-it is a life of rejection but obedience does not seek applause. The sad part was that not but a year later the same church fell apart. If only they would have listened!

I do believe in ministering under the pastoral direction I always attempt to exercise protocol and find out how to operate within the church culture. But this does not mean compromising scripture or scriptural practices. I wonder sometimes why God always seems to put me in the place of being the bad guy as it were. I have began referring to it as being an antihero. Yet I realize that a man cannot love Christ and the evil world system at the same time. Why can’t some pastors just do their job instead of allowing these things to happen to the congregation which has been entrusted to their care? Why do I have to sit in a pew and listen to their watered down message or insane ideas? Why do they have to run their churches by books and ideas written by religious marketers instead of God’s Holy Word? Is not Jesus enough? I always thought he was.

ADAM O AND THE SANTA ANA SAINTS

April 17, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

“Surely the Lord is in the place and I knew it not.” (Gen. 28:16).

I was invited by Rev. Adam Ortiz who was Youth Pastor at Templo Calvario to come and preach at a youth revival in Santa Ana, California in the early 90’s. Pastor Adam and his staff was doing a phenomenal job and wanted to have what he called a Youth Explo. I felt that I should fast for these meetings because I was not going to do this in my own strength. God prepared me for what I should be preaching but He was also about to surprise me with the most thrilling experiences of my life.

Adam and these kids scrimped and saved as much money as they could to get me a flight there. I was fascinated with West Coast people they were totally different than what I was used to. I liked them. The first Thursday night I was to preach, I met both young people who had grown up in the church and former gang members. Adam was a former gang member himself and God had given him a great burden to reach his area.

The next day I watched as these beautiful kids mostly Mexican in nationality boarding the buses and the Lord began burning a word in my heart for them. Adam and I traveled in his old Mercedes (which broke down on the way back) carrying all kinds of sound equipment. We went up to a Christian camp and settled in our cabins for the evening. The kids were rowdy all night but they finally went to sleep, they would be exhausted by the next evening. Thank God I could finally sleep uninterrupted.

After a day of activities, Saturday night came and we gathered in an A Frame building used as a sanctuary. It was packed with over 125 people. I just studied and prayed that day and I felt confident that I had a message for them. The worship was wonderful and there was a great liberty in the Holy Spirit. The topic on which I preached was Entering Into the Door of the Spirit from Revelation chapter 4. I encouraged them to cross the threshold of the natural to the supernatural. The presence of God came in to that meeting like a high pressure frontal system and I was aware of the atmosphere intensifying with a sense of God’s holiness.

At the end of the message I asked them to move the chairs back against the wall so that we would have room to pray for people to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit. They formed a semi-circle around the front. I felt liberty to instruct them that they who desired the Holy Spirit would receive it by a simple act of asking and believing. I told them that no one would be manipulated by someone whispering “tongues” in their ear, or teaching them to say gibberish, cheer-leading and stirring up a dervish of emotions. I loathe showmanship. They would not have to wait long for God to move.

After this I began to pray and just as I said, “Amen.” immediately people started speaking in tongues. I began to lay hands on on them and simply say, “Receive the Holy Ghost!” and they would begin to speak in tongues. This was not wild emotions dear reader, the only way I could describe it was sacred. The sense of God’s presence was overwhelming. I began to actually be afraid to be in God’s presence. There was almost a glow of glory in that room. I had no fear of harm or injury it was just a deep sensitivity that God was at work. As the kids were worshiping God in their new heavenly language I looked in the back and I saw a young man whose name was Jesse. I am not given to visions but there appeared to be two radiating angelic beings with their wings touching above and around this young man. I pointed at him and said, “Why is it that you need such angelic protection?” Adam was astounded. He brought Jesse up and he told me that he worked in ministry with the gangs. His life had been spared numerous times by the Lord. Glory to God! I asked who received the baptism in the Holy Spirit for the first time that night and it was nineteen people.

We had a devotional service on Sunday morning and and returned to Santa Ana for the Sunday evening service. We almost did not make it because the Mercedes broke down. We found out it was a small spring that would not let the vehicle accelerate. We made it just in time. That night the altar call was tremendous. People coming to the Lord, backsliders being reclaimed and baptisms in the Holy Spirit. It was like the old time revivals I had read about.

Adam O decided to extend the services for another week so we met for prayer everyday. I remember one brother who was struggling to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit. He felt despair and I told him that he could not receive any of God’s gifts in that frame of mind. I kept praying and encouraging him to just be at peace and receive the, “peace of God which transcends all understanding.” and just believe the Lord loves him. I saw him in one service and I looked at him and said, “Wayne let go of the control stick!” I do not know why I said it like that but right there he began to speak in tongues. God answers prayer! I remember in the last service, I pointed to another young man and said, “You have the spirit of David!” And this young man received the baptism of the Holy Spirit with just a sentence. It was incredible.

I remember that during that week of services there were season where the kids would intensely seek the Lord. One night, I felt so much energy I wanted to pray for everyone but there were too many, so the kids started to grab on to my suit jacket. I felt like a conduit of Christ’s power and he honored their hunger for God and filled them to overflowing. In one service, I started running around the church worshiping God. It seemed everyone had a childlike exultation in the Lord. Thirty kids received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. I am deeply grateful for love I received from these kids. It was worth more than gold.

Two years later I returned for another three day retreat. if I recall correctly the youth group had grown for 200 to 5oo kids on Thursday night meetings. Many of the youth were still serving the Lord from the last time I was there and they were serving in ministry. The young man who worked with the gangs was now working for the police with the gangs-unbelievable! That is what the Bible calls good and lasting fruit to the gospel!

They had the Adam O show done in an Arsenio Hall format and used it to interview a missionary. It was a blast-we thought that this time might be more subdued than the last. I was wondering would things happen like they did last time? I learned this much, God will work in different ways, never limit him- let him surprise you.

God began to do it again. This time I was intensely praying for an entire hour over people and Adam could not believe my stamina-the Holy Spirit just took over-it was the quickening of the Spirit. A woman came up from an operation and it looked like half her foot was missing. She still could not walk on it-we prayed for her and on her own she threw her crutches away and she began to walk with ease on it. She began to shout!

A young woman fell on the ice that day and she was in great pain. Her friends told me she was going to have to go to the hospital. We prayed for her and when she went to sit down she realized she had no more pain. She came back up weeping at God’s goodness-this was amazing. There was a powerful word of knowledge and God began to expose the hearts of backsliders and restore them, I began by the Spirit to expose sin and it was confirmed-God was bringing people to repentance.

When we went back to Santa Ana on Sunday night I preached on becoming a Soul Surgeon and the scalpel of the Lord cut away at people’s excuses and many felt God’s call to preach the gospel. It was so profound Adam extended this revival for a week. I was being ministered to as well despite the fact that Roman and Adam trashed my life at chess. There were storm clouds at home in our church and God was refreshing me. My Dad was preaching for me while I was away and did a great job. So the church was in good hands.

We began to minister and we went to Teen Challenge. There was a man there in a wheel chair and he had been injured by an accident. I went over to him and pulled him out of the wheel chair in Jesus name! I walked with him up and down the aisle-it was awesome. It scared the stuffing out of me at the same time. I am very serious abut the things of God. It is no game to me.

That Thursday night, I preached a message called, ‘The Great Deception” I’ll Follow Jesus Tomorrow.” I could feel the dense conviction of the Holy Spirit upon the audience. I have never sensed such an evangelistic spirit in all my travels and it was a powerful drawing of the Holy Spirit to Jesus. The front was filled with kids who came to repentance and faith in Christ. It was much like that in each service.

Adam is a friend of mine to this day-we still talk of those days and look forward to God doing greater things. For Jesus is not done healing the sick, freeing the oppressed and filling people with the Holy Spirit. I am even now greatly burdened to see a mighty move of the Holy Spirit-use me Lord! Send me Lord!

PULPIT POUNDER!

April 4, 2015April 21, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

“For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Heb. 4:12).

This part of my testimony shows how God still was using me despite all my internal struggles. I know most preachers chuckle at how God used Balaam’s donkey (I do not think they would laugh if they realized how close the application of that story was for them) but it was more than that. God works through weakness and imperfection. he was use all my issues one day to be a platform for me to help his children.

Now I was born to preach. I love it. It is what God made me to do. I always think about it. I even preach when I am alone. I dream about preaching. You see, it is God that ordains preachers. Preaching is not learned, it cannot be taught it is a vocation, a sacred calling. You are either called by God to be a preacher or you are not one. A real preacher of the gospel is a strange creature. He must preach from what is in his heart. He must feel the presence of God when he preaches or he is deeply grieved. God’s Word burns in his heart like a fire.

During my early years as a Christian I would attend as many church services as I could. The Cops for Christ were meeting in my church and of course I attended and I listened to them talk. Two policemen John Carlo and Bill Salvia were there and I got to speak with them. I am not sure what happened, (I probably rebuked them for something as i was prone to do) but they wanted me to meet their Pastor and they asked if I would like to come speak at one of their Sunday night services. I accepted. Pastor Joe Demola was very encouraging. This was an Italian Pentecostal church and the people were very warm. On May 23, 1982 on Sunday night, was the first time I stood behind a pulpit…ever. I preached on Deuteronomy six and called for repentance and obedience to God’s Word. I was only sixteen and I think people were surprised.

There were some small churches on Staten Island that loved having us come and preach. I might be visiting with Pastor Tyndale on Jersey Street and would come up to me and say in his West Indian accent, “My brother, you are preaching tonight.” Brother Demola would do the same. I would go see Brother Elstad in Castleton Corners and he would have me preach on the spot. Brother Sanchez in Jersey City would invite me to preach. It was not like today. I had to be ready at all times. The Holy Spirit had these men training me. I miss these men. I was too young to completely appreciate them, but I weep at how gracious God was to me. They called me a young evangelist and they encouraged my gifting despite my inexperience.

One time I will never forget at an end of a service at Brother Elstad’s they brought up a homeless man. He was bound by alcohol. He did not say a word but I looked into his eyes and there was another presence there. It was a demon. I reprimanded this demon for its hold on this man and immediately and without a question the unclean spirit left. He professed faith in Christ. Brother Elstad told me later that man was serving the Lord and was a deacon in his church.

My brother and I would go out and preach a lot. He called us “Bookends for Jesus” because we were twins. My brother would sing and I would preach. We went to preach in one place and Mike sang one too many songs, not leaving me much time to preach. I was preaching on repentance and the Pastor stopped me midway. he still laughs about it. The people seemed to want to hear more but he ended the service abruptly. He was angry and he brought us into his office and rebuked us and asked me if I was reading any Leonard Ravenhill’s books because I sounded like him. I had never heard of him. But I thought that maybe I should read them after that.

I remember street preaching in Manhattan right in battery Park. I was working there temporarily and about a quarter of a mile a way I hear this large booming voice. I went and there were these guys that were preaching under a huge American Flag to the people eating lunch. One guy looked like he could bench press 400 pounds and his voice was the one I heard. He could say, “Jesus Christ” better and louder than anyone I ever knew without a sound system. I had seen one of these men before and he asked me if I wanted to preach. Of course I wanted to. This was a new experience for me. Once again, I could see people as souls. There they many business people sitting on the benches eating lunch and we got to preach to people who had never heard of the new birth.

One of the great things I got to do was work at WPOW in 1983 as the chief announcer just before I went to Bible College. My father jumped up and down when he heard I got this position. It was very early hours but I enjoyed it. I had the opportunity play Christian preaching and music.

During that time there was a young woman that my brother and I met. She attended a large Baptist church. She was a lovely Christian in her twenties and she would drive us home sometimes. My brother and I were speaking to her about the baptism in the Holy Spirit.

One night we were talking in her car about the Holy Spirit and she screamed “I’m afraid! I’m afraid!” Her church so poisoned her mind about this biblical experience she was terrified.

I placed my hand on her and said, “I rebuke this spirit of fear in the name of Jesus Christ and I command you to leave her alone.” Immediately she was at peace and not but a week later the Lord baptized her in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in other tongues.

The Lord would also give me the opportunity to go to the Mid West and West Coast and preach-some amazing things would happen-things I never expected to see.

SOUL SICKNESS

April 1, 2015April 3, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

“The human spirit can endure a long illness, but who can survive a crushed spirit?” (Prov. 18:14The Voice)

I was still ridden with guilt that was already taken away by Christ. My soul was sick. I am not rationalizing anything but our hearts and souls get sick just like our bodies (Psa. 6:3; Prov. 13:12). This does not make us bad Christians, it just makes us human. We all get sick. We know this by the symptoms. When we do become ill, we seek a cure with over the counter remedies or home remedies. If we are still sick we seek out a doctor. We do all this because being sick is not normal in our minds, so we must be cured. My sickness was cured in Christ. All I had to do was look to him, see him in scripture, pray to him and know by his wounds I am already healed (Isaiah 53:5). But instead my soul was drawn to legalism, man centered methods and doctrines that promised healing but only brought disappointments. My problem was what I believed.

Now I did not necessarily know I was soul sick. Yet, I began to seek out books, teachings and people that might have a cure. These teachings all had the opposite effect and they fed my guilt instead of relieving it. They only slightly and temporarily healed my wounds (Jer. 16:13-14). For example, I began to read much on revival. I loved Chick tracts and also Keith Green a well known prolific Christian singer. They introduced me to Charles Grandison Finney. I loved reading his biography but later on as I discovered more about his teachings such as his rejection of justification by faith alone and his outright hatred of classical theology it troubled me. He did not believe revival was the work of God but the responsibility of man so he had people take an inventory of their lives listing their sins and confessing them. He taught only then would the unproductive ground of the heart be broken up to produce the fruit of revival. This became like soul micromanagement to me-it is compared to trying to make your heart beat by listening to it.

Then there was the appeal of what people call “deliverance ministry” that taught that the Holy Spirit coexists with demons in Christians. They teach people have demonic curses that need to be “broken” even after they become Christians. I had no doubt we engaged in an invisible war but I knew Christians cannot have demons-period. I protested this teaching because the Bible said, “Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us…” (Gal. 3:13) and “God’s Son holds <us> securely, and the evil one cannot touch <us>.” (1 John 5:18NLT addition mine). When a Christian is confused with living in defeat or struggling with guilt, rejection, fear and depression one might be convinced they have a demonic problem. The deliverance ministry focuses on sin and Satan instead of directing people back to Christ and his grace. I was invited to a deliverance session and they prayed over me and these “demonic” influences were told to leave. The session I had was very similar once again to taking inventory of my sin issues and thus I felt freedom for a short time but it was short lived. It was Satan’s deception to distract me from my perfect Savior and his great salvation. He must have had a good laugh at my stupidity. It was in what Jesus did once for all on the cross that my freedom was found. I was sealed by the Holy Spirit forever and delivered from all the powers of darkness when Jesus first saved me.

By the time I graduated Bible College and was a evening manager at a Christian bookstore I became fed up with the false doctrines of the word “magic” groups and the self-esteem gospel of Robert Schuller. My Christian bookstore manager asked me to leave when I expressed my concern over these books. Here I thought I was doing the right thing. During that time I met a Pentecostal minister who asked me to come and serve his church and he would remain Pastor Emeritus. He was having difficulties due to his age and wanted to know if I could preach there on Sundays. Things went well, until my brother came and preached on the baptism of the Holy Spirit. The seasoned citizen woman who played the organ was a Methodist and she complained to the Pastor. He asked me to leave a few days later. I was devastated.

The devil used my disillusionment against me. While I was a Youth Pastor at a church on Staten Island I encountered a group of people called the Jesus Only, Oneness Pentecostals. They believed in the deity of Christ and many evangelical doctrines but did not believe in the classical view of the Trinity. They taught that Christianity was under the influence of NeoPlatonism like many cultic groups accuse them of. They also believed salvation was by being baptized in the name of Jesus (Acts 2:38) and that Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Matt. 28:19-20) were only the titles of God not the name of God. They confirmed the feeling of suspicion that had grown in my heart. They lovingly took me in and trained me and showed more concern for me than anyone. I baptized a few church members at that church and was asked to leave. Not long after, I pastored an Apostolic Church for a few years. I had to study a lot of church history and Christology in an attempt to defend my position. God used that in my life to show me that only in the person of Christ and the teachings of classical Christianity represented the truth.

The cures for which I was seeking were just as dangerous as the illness. All these groups were, “worthless physicians and forgers of lies.” (Job 13:4). Religion is always telling you to do something to be accepted, forgiven or to be in right standing with God. We must be wary that of any one group or denomination that claims to have all the truth. Only the church as a whole has the truth as it is in Jesus. The foundational belief that saved and kept me is: that all my guilt and sin, anxiety and fear- all my soul sicknesses were placed upon Christ on the Cross and he carried them away for all time and eternity! This was the key to walking with God all the time.

I WAS AFRAID OF GOD

March 16, 2015April 3, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

“It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” (Heb 10:31NASB).

At a very young age God seemed distant and I was deathly afraid of him. I saw God through the eyes of a Roman Catholic who attended Immaculate Conception on Staten Island, NY. It’s all I knew. I am not placing the blame on anyone or any group. I had kind, loving priests who I saw as angelic. They were masculine, old school priests who were gentle and godly. The only time I talked to them was when I used to go confession and wait my turn to go into the booth. I watched the light turn from red to green and it was my turn. I talked to them through the screen. Why did they do that? I did not know. Maybe they did not want to know who was talking to them. I could smell Father McGinn’s Aqua Velva™ and I knew it was him. I would confess my sins.

After I exited, they would have me pray prayers that would make up for my dirty deeds and sad I did not know them all. I knew the “Hail Mary” and the “Our Father” but the “Glory to the Father” always got me. I did not want to look like I was dumb or maybe I was afraid to ask how to pray it. So I just repeated the phrase over and over. So I could only hope I did the right thing. But I did not feel forgiven. I did not know what it was to be forgiven. I just did it because I thought you could not take communion on Sunday. For me that was church, sit, stand, kneel and go up front and the priest would say, “Body of Christ.” and I would say, “Amen.” I did not know what that meant. But I would take communion and go home.

I did not know the nuns at all except for when I had “released time” from P.S. 14. I liked learning about God. I remember climbing up the altar at church slowly because I thought God was up there and I wanted to see. But the nuns told me to get back down. They thought I was fooling around but I was not. My heart was empty. I could cry at the fact that no one knew. I thought I loved God but I was afraid of him. It was a strange contradiction. No one helped me with that dread. I lived with terrible guilt. My parents loved me, provided for me and even sent me to church. But church was a scary place and I was always doing something wrong. I was always getting in trouble. I was setting fires or fighting with my brother. I grasped the total truth that I was a sinner-I knew it for sure then and I felt at any moment God would kill me for my crimes against him. I wrote about it even in poetry. I would write and ask God, “Please don’t kill me.”

I would lay awake in my room at night and see things. My imagination would run wild. I was afraid of the angels on the wallpaper I thought they were alive. So I used to sing myself to sleep. I would make up some song (my twin brother Mike would do the same thing) and go “La, La, La” and my mother would hear us but she knew we were singing. But I never called out when to my parents when I was afraid, I don’t know why.

I was alone. I had no gospel. I had no Bible. I was lost.

I used to steal books. I loved books and I love reading them. My parents would have bought them for me but I was a quiet kid and a thief. One time I stole a children’s Bible out of a library. I did not have a library card and I did not ask how I could get one. I loved the pictures in it and I wanted to read it. I guess when I hear people who get their Bible’s stolen, it may be someone like me, it’s OK, let them have it.

I began to see artists rendition of prophets whose name I could not pronounce but I could say names like Abraham, Moses and Micah. But it was when I read Jeremiah that something happened to me.

That is for the next time. This is the first article in this series.

Walking Past Danger on a Chain

March 7, 2015 / thesouldoctor / Leave a comment

“…There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold…” (1 Pet 1:6,7 NLT).

God is allowing something right now to happen in your life to observe and evaluate your confidence in the truth and promises of scripture. He wants to see if you can face life’s challenges that normally would cause depression, anxiety, fear, loneliness and guilt. The sense of danger always seems to be our reaction to serious problems. Hey, problems are problems and that never changes-but what is the solution? What is the way out? The Teacher knows the answers to the test He is giving and He grades you according to your correct or incorrect response. God knows how we will react, but we do not know. We think we do, but we really don’t. What we believe is seen in how we react to trials just verbalizing our statement of faith.

As we trust him in the storms of life we will see more of his power and nature, not our achievements. God does not polish our trophies he purifies our being and shows us who He is. We say we know what it is to trust in God, much like knowing the answers to a test. God tests that assertion. God is in total control of the test and as a child of God, he is not out to destroy you but remove the unwanted element of self reliance. tested faith, perseverance in full blossom in the ratification of our faith. It is now faith with some muscle. It is my conviction that the test depends on what level you are, every test is adjusted accordingly-and you will walk past the real danger not realizing until later, it was on a chain.

I have paraphrased a story from the classic book Pilgrims Progress in which the traveler named Christian came to the top of a hill and saw two men running at full speed the wrong way. The name of the one was Mistrust (which means full of fear) and Timorous (which means full of doubt). They were on their way to the Celestial City but they had seen blood thirsty lions and were on their way back to their homes in the City of destruction.

Christian became afraid when he heard this, but there was no where to go. He knew the only place of safety was moving forward towards Celestial City. Mistrust and Timorous ran down the hill, and Christian went ahead. But realized he lost the scroll of God’s promises somewhere earlier that day. After a long search he found them but now it was dark and he still had to face those monsters of which Mistrust and Timorous had warned him.

As he walked he saw on the side of the road he saw a beautiful palace and as he began to walk toward it there was a narrow passage. Then he saw the Lions. They were growling and vicious. He did not know how he would get past them and he was about to turn around when a man named Watchful yelled to him, “Don’t be afraid of these lions for they are chained up and they are left here to test if travelers have genuine faith. If you stay in the middle of the path they cannot touch you.”

He walked right through them and they roared and clawed at him but did not injure him at all. Christian was not only relieved but he started clapping and shouting!

All of your trials and difficulties are chained. There is a divine restraint on your difficulties. That should bring great confidence in God. Oh trials are real, this is not a game, but they are on a leash. No matter how difficult the trial, God has restrained it from destroying you. Already you have seen others run away from something that you faced. You were no better than them, but you knew you had no other choice but to serve God. You thought, “I cannot go back because there is nothing to go back to.” You kept your eyes on Jesus and walked past the danger on a chain.

You went on thinking that you might fail but that did not stop you. You kept going and saw God was true to his Word. You thought you might lose everything and instead you gained more than you could have dreamed. You even thought you might die, and you are still alive. All things are designed by God for his glory in your welfare and nothing that happens to you even though it hurts you will not harm you (Rom. 8:28). All God requires is forward motion. Keep going. Keep believing. Stay on the path. Walk past the danger on a chain.

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