guilt; death; sin; grace; forgiveness

“The human spirit can endure a long illness, but who can survive a crushed spirit?” (Prov. 18:14The Voice)

I was still ridden with guilt that was already taken away by Christ. My soul was sick. I am not rationalizing anything but our hearts and souls get sick just like our bodies (Psa. 6:3; Prov. 13:12). This does not make us bad Christians, it just makes us human. We all get sick. We know this by the symptoms. When we do become ill, we seek a cure with over the counter remedies or home remedies. If we are still sick we seek out a doctor. We do all this because being sick is not normal in our minds, so we must be cured. My sickness was cured in Christ. All I had to do was look to him, see him in scripture, pray to him and know by his wounds I am already healed (Isaiah 53:5). But instead my soul was drawn to legalism, man centered methods and doctrines that promised healing but only brought disappointments. My problem was what I believed.

Now I did not necessarily know I was soul sick. Yet, I began to seek out books, teachings and people that might have a cure. These teachings all had the opposite effect and they fed my guilt instead of relieving it. They only slightly and temporarily healed my wounds (Jer. 16:13-14). For example, I began to read much on revival. I loved Chick tracts and also Keith Green a well known prolific Christian singer. They introduced me to Charles Grandison Finney. I loved reading his biography but later on as I discovered more about his teachings such as his rejection of justification by faith alone and his outright hatred of classical theology it troubled me. He did not believe revival was the work of God but the responsibility of man so he had people take an inventory of their lives listing their sins and confessing them. He taught only then would the unproductive ground of the heart be broken up to produce the fruit of revival. This became like soul micromanagement to me-it is compared to trying to make your heart beat by listening to it.

Then there was the appeal of what people call “deliverance ministry” that taught that the Holy Spirit coexists with demons in Christians. They teach people have demonic curses that need to be “broken” even after they become Christians. I had no doubt we engaged in an invisible war but I knew Christians cannot have demons-period. I protested this teaching because the Bible said, “Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us…” (Gal. 3:13) and “God’s Son holds <us> securely, and the evil one cannot touch <us>.” (1 John 5:18NLT addition mine). When a Christian is confused with living in defeat or struggling with guilt, rejection, fear and depression one might be convinced they have a demonic problem. The deliverance ministry focuses on sin and Satan instead of directing people back to Christ and his grace. I was invited to a deliverance session and they prayed over me and these “demonic” influences were told to leave. The session I had was very similar once again to taking inventory of my sin issues and thus I felt freedom for a short time but it was short lived. It was Satan’s deception to distract me from my perfect Savior and his great salvation. He must have had a good laugh at my stupidity. It was in what Jesus did once for all on the cross that my freedom was found. I was sealed by the Holy Spirit forever and delivered from all the powers of darkness when Jesus first saved me.

By the time I graduated Bible College and was a evening manager at a Christian bookstore I became fed up with the false doctrines of the word “magic” groups and the self-esteem gospel of Robert Schuller. My Christian bookstore manager asked me to leave when I expressed my concern over these books. Here I thought I was doing the right thing. During that time I met a Pentecostal minister who asked me to come and serve his church and he would remain Pastor Emeritus. He was having difficulties due to his age and wanted to know if I could preach there on Sundays. Things went well, until my brother came and preached on the baptism of the Holy Spirit. The seasoned citizen woman who played the organ was a Methodist and she complained to the Pastor. He asked me to leave a few days later. I was devastated.

The devil used my disillusionment against me. While I was a Youth Pastor at a church on Staten Island I encountered a group of people called the Jesus Only, Oneness Pentecostals. They believed in the deity of Christ and many evangelical doctrines but did not believe in the classical view of the Trinity. They taught that Christianity was under the influence of NeoPlatonism like many cultic groups accuse them of. They also believed salvation was by being baptized in the name of Jesus (Acts 2:38) and that Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Matt. 28:19-20) were only the titles of God not the name of God. They confirmed the feeling of suspicion that had grown in my heart. They lovingly took me in and trained me and showed more concern for me than anyone. I baptized a few church members at that church and was asked to leave. Not long after, I pastored an Apostolic Church for a few years. I had to study a lot of church history and Christology in an attempt to defend my position. God used that in my life to show me that only in the person of Christ and the teachings of classical Christianity represented the truth.

The cures for which I was seeking were just as dangerous as the illness. All these groups were, “worthless physicians and forgers of lies.” (Job 13:4). Religion is always telling you to do something to be accepted, forgiven or to be in right standing with God. We must be wary that of any one group or denomination that claims to have all the truth. Only the church as a whole has the truth as it is in Jesus. The foundational belief that saved and kept me is: that all my guilt and sin, anxiety and fear- all my soul sicknesses were placed upon Christ on the Cross and he carried them away for all time and eternity! This was the key to walking with God all the time.

“For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” (Gen 3:19).

After the first couple, Adam and Eve sinned verbal chaos seemed to ensue like a football team fighting over a fumble. There was fighting and blame-shifting. You can see guilt and shame at work bringing confusion and conflict.

Adam blames, “the woman you gave me.” OK I admit that blaming your wife is a bad habit, even dangerous, but I do not know about you, it does not seem like a good idea to imply the Creator as the reason you blew it.

Then Eve blames the serpent. We still love to blame the devil-hey why not? No one likes him. But Satan did not make her or her husband do anything. It was all their decision.

Finally, God steps in and basically says, “Enough.” He pronounces his sentence of judgment on all of them. The snake will crawl, the woman will have pain and Adam gets told he is dust.

That phrase, “For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” carries with it a certain finality. In our world all you can see is dust-everywhere. On the shelves, the tables, the mirror, the ceiling fan, the desk and the computer-everywhere. This world is dusty. Ever wonder why?

After Adam sinned he is told, “you were made of dust and now you will turn into dust.” This is a common theme in the Bible. Abraham saw himself as dust and ashes (Gen. 18:27). Dust refers to death and the grave (Psalm 22: 15; Eccl 3:20; 12:7). It is the final fade to black moment-the end.

But dust is like a sense of personal sinfulness guilt as well. Job is an expert on dust. He talks about it a lot and it is a reference to hopelessness and despair (Job 17:11-16). I mean we all sin, everyday and we are very good at it- thank you very much. But there are some sins that really bother our conscience-those sins you combat more than others. Those sins that have got you in more trouble than others. When my conscience bothers me. that is not all bad. This sort of “dust” clouds everything and yet gives a dark clarity to who I am in and of myself-it gives the sense of my own mortality and depravity. After I sin, if I do something especially stupid, I sense my own personal dustiness. I feel like Job who said, “When I lie down, I say, When shall I arise, and the night be gone? and I am full of tossings to and fro unto the dawning of the day. My flesh is clothed with worms and clods of dust; my skin is broken, and become loathsome.” (Job 7:4-5). Yeah that says it. In those moments, I am not feeling much like the “righteousness of God in Christ.” I must deal with my sin by simple confession and see how Christ has dealt with my sin on the cross as a cure.

But guilt must not go unchecked or it chokes my joy and it weighs me down with Adam dust. Living in guilt, remorse and regret does not glorify God, nor satisfy God. It makes faith turn into ashes. That is why we look to Christ as the one who removes the dust of our souls by the rushing mighty wind of his presence.

Sin happened in dusty Adam, but perfection happened in the Lord Jesus Christ. “And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.” (1 Cor 15:45).

We are no longer just earthly dust but we are heavenly and spiritual because of Christ. He has made us alive forever by his saving power. Adam was just a man, Jesus was the Lord God from heaven. Yes, we have had an earthly image, but now because of Christ we have a heavenly dust free image.

We must look to Christ who takes away our sins and guilt by his precious blood. This is why God’s forgiveness and grace cleanses away sin and remove the dust of guilt. This continual uninterrupted grace and cleansing is offered to us through the blood of Christ (1 John 1:7-9). If we come clean with God this is just evidence that he is cleansing us continually from all the dust of this world.

Soul Health Care

Proclaiming Christ as the Great Physician of the Soul

guilt; death; sin; grace; forgiveness

SOUL SICKNESS

DUST!