Hard to Pray

Through the years PRAYER brought a lot of emotional pressure to my soul. Old books and the teachings on prayer did not help. It was very typical of people don’t pray but will hand you a book.

All I could think about this the things that I had done; wrong thoughts that I thought; words that I should not have spoken it was like bilge in the bottom of the boat of my brain. Prayer was like an inventory of all I had done wrong -what a struggle this was! All I could think of was how everything I DID was against God answering my prayers!

Honestly, I left frustrated and angry with NO REST after prayer. Satan was relentless and he brought up things so long ago-I was crushed, crushed by the weight of my sin!!! Here I WAS TRYING TO PRAY.

All the time I did not realize that GOD WAS NOT LOOKING AT THAT. The good or bad or right or wrong that I had done was not the BASIS of my prayers being answered.

The basis of my prayers being answered was that Christ was crushed by my sin, my guilt brought him suffering and my selfishness brought him pain and blood that was shed on the cross of Calvary. He took all of them and drank God’s wrath against them to the dregs of that bitter cup and nothing was left but peace, forgiveness and acceptance.

Now, it would almost seem when I utter the words “in Jesus name” that it brings Calvary to God’s mind, the pleasure he has in Christ that now he has in me and that the Holy Spirit takes what I pray and reinterprets them before God with the right language prayed by a righteous person was made righteous only by the blood of Jesus.

Stephen Gibney

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